There are films that you wouldn't want to see a second time. There are ones that you would like to walk out of. And there are those that you should give a go-by after reading a review. Hisss is one such film. And you should thank the reviewer too for having endured it in the first place and passed on the good word to you. Hisss is indisputably the worst film I have seen in recent times.
Wait, make that "in a long time." Yes, the much-awaited snake-flick is as bad as that. I am not getting paid to write this review, but there are certain things one must do for humanity ― like warn the unsuspecting masses about the assault on the senses and sensibilities that a filmmaker might unleash on you, should you make the mistake of buying that 100-odd-rupee ticket into a multiplex. Hell, no.
Warn you nonetheless, should you even download a pirated version from those torrents and see it for free during your off time. Don't do it. Trust me. There are a zillion reasons why Hisss is bad. Some include (not in any particular order):
- The storyline is flat, flatter than the world Thomas Friedman would tell you it is.
- The special effects are so bad, you would think there have been no cinematic advances since Georges Méliès.
- The firang baddie is so bad that you would want to recall Bob Cristo.
- The statement at the beginning informs us that no real snakes were used in the film, but only rubber ones. Guess what, the snakes look like it too!
- Jennifer Lynch fails to do a Danny Boyle here. Miserably so. She ought to restart her career as a Bollywood extra.
- Irrfan Khan looks as if he is sleeping through the film. Time to stop calling him a thinking man's actor.
- Even Raman Trikha has been wasted in the film. So much for the actors.
- And the credits mentioned Divya Dutta too, did it?
- The Ramsay comedy films are likely to scare you more.
HISSS AND HERS: The only time Mallika looks her sexiest in the film is in this four-minute chase sequence in which she is covered from head to toe.Having said that (I love this cliche, but pardon me since I don't usually get to use it), if you still have to sit through the film for whatever compulsion, there's one sequence that's worth a watch ― a chase scene some two-thirds into the film. It is possibly one of the best chase scenes I have seen in a Bollywood film in a long time. Yes, it might remind you of the Tangier chase scene in The Bourne Ultimatum. But as chase sequences go, they are not easy to emulate; you might want to give it to Lynch. And Mallika Sherawat looks her sexiest in the film in this sequence. Ironically, one in which she is covered from head to toe in a burqa. You would, of course, gloss over the occasional glimpses of her legs through the slit in the gown.
