India in Love: Marriage and Sexuality In The 21st century explores mating habits of youngsters on campuses and in offices; examines the changing face of pornography and prostitution; probes oppression of the LGBT community. Author Ira Trivedi, who would be in the city later this month, tells dna how India in Love was stitched together.
I believe this book was in the making for four good years. How did you go about planning how you would move around the country? What about logistics?
Yes, it did take four good (and long years). I first selected the cities I wanted to visit (after looking at economics/demographics, etc) and then spent 10-14 days in each city, exploring stories and interviewing people. It wasn’t all about logistics, no matter how much I planned. Many times I would try hard to find the right story and then it would emerge right when I was leaving, and I would have to postpone my return. Sometimes, my characters led me to locations. I did follow certain stories over a course of 2-3 years; as my characters moved, I moved with them. I also spent a lot of time on college campuses. This was easier since I speak to college students all the time and am invited to speak on campuses. All in all, I realise that so much of it was luck. And a little bit of grit.
Conducting 600-plus interviews can be exhausting. Were interviews tailored to answer questions? Or, did you work on the canvas after your fieldwork?
It was a little bit of both — it was exhausting, but also rewarding. I did make questionnaires and gave them to groups of students and individuals. Sometimes, those would be smaller focus groups, or interviews with individuals. Sometimes interviews were my fieldwork, and sometimes I had to find the right people to support my thesis. I also interviewed people to find the narratives that I would use in my book – the stories that form the central vein of the book.
Given the hypocrisy that exists in society, with reference to love, marriage and sexuality, was it a surprise that many people were forthcoming about making ‘confessions’?
It did. What surprised me even more though was how willing people of all ages, across class and caste lines were to talk to me. I hardly had problems. Actually thinking back, it was the “intelligentsia”, which gave me the most trouble. Academics, for example, who will probably now be quoting from my book. There was this one awful lady who I remembered interviewing and then she frantically wrote to me hoping that I wouldn’t steal her ideas or research on divorce! But all in all, people were happy to have someone who was non-judgemental listening to them.
It is not easy to get people to talk about something as intimate as love, marriage, sexuality. There needs to be a trust/comfort factor. How did you work on this aspect?
Time. I spent time with my characters, becoming an integral and intimate part of their lives and their journey.
You fall back on a lot of data; did these vindicate your opinions? Do you think that the sex surveys done by a number of magazines are a far cry from what you witnessed?
Some data was good, most of it was bad, especially the magazine data! These people just fudge numbers to their liking. I did use some of those, but it was mostly the raw data as opposed to their findings.
When one moves across the country delving into intimate aspects of people, it is not easy to remain detached. How personally involved did you become over the travels?
I got more personally involved than expected, or even wanted. For two years plus, these people were my friends, my social life, my work life. Some remain in my life even today. I also became emotionally involved; it is impossible not to. I found myself making matches, studying divorce cases, fighting legal battles, in the middle of couples’ fights, and in the midst of family disputes. I found it hard to deal with my own relationship during this time. I was in one, and kept comparing with the lives that I saw. This was wrong of me, and it had an adverse effect on my relationship. But it’s hard not to get attached. I did emerge as a different person, as a different writer, as a different thinker even. It was a coming of age book for me. It has led me to become a more serious, more informed, more careful writer. Sometimes, I feel that all that I have done in my past, all my writing, all my books, all my studies have been to produce India In Love.
